Naruto Cross Over Bloopers
by JackOfBladesX
Summary: We all love cross overs, but we just have to accept that some crossovers...don't fit in the World of Naruto. Here's a list of some of these animes/games that just won't mix. Rated For Language. Chapter 2: Code Geass
1. Persona 3

**Disclaimor: I don't own Naruto or Persona 3. I don't support Teen Suicide. **

**A/N: For anyone wondering what when i'll finally get back to some of my other fics...i don't know. Just had this idea crawling in my head for a while now...wrote it over the course of a few months.**

* * *

Not for the first time, Naruto looked at the object in his hand…and then back up to the man who handed it to him

Not for the first time, Naruto looked at the object in his hand…and then back up to the man who handed it to him. Then he looked at the object again…then the man again…

This went on for another few moments, before the blonde ninja finally said, "Are you out of your fucking mind!" It was really more of a statement…because frankly, Naruto believed within every fiber of his being that this man was crazy.

The whole situation was freaking crazy. He went to sleep last night after the incident with Mizuki. He woke up, 'inside of his mind' in front of this strange old man with a nose the size of a kunai. The man in question was hunched over a table, sitting on a sofa, within a room…all with a blue décor. The man told him that he was technically still sleeping, but was also inside his mind in a place called, **"The Velvet Room"**.

Naruto remembered Iruka talking about people like this man. The chunin simply said that crystal meth was a horrible, horrible drug.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of the man's antics. He handed the boy a pistol and said, _"If you should ever need more power…point this __evoker__ at your head and pull the trigger."_

Which lead to Naruto's strange behavior and comment. He himself, slightly curled up in his chair, before shooting a look at the woman next to the old man. Elizabeth was a strange blond woman, with an even stranger skin tone. She appeared to be a pale/albino color, yet seemed to have a strange yellow hue to her. Her clothing, like the décor of the room, was blue. She seemed to have a perpetual smile that frankly scared the hell out of him.

Naruto turned back to Igor, the old man, just as he started to respond to Naruto's _accusation_. "What is it that you wish to ask me?"

The blonde blinked. "You just handed me a gun and told me to shoot myself in the head if I ever needed help!"

Igor smiled, "That is correct."

Crystal Meth must REALLY be a horrible drug.

"When you do this, you will summon your persona- your other self and inner strength- into the battlefield. Oh…but it's not a gun", the old man continued.

Naruto looked back at the item in his hand and then back at Igor, "It's a gun", he said simply.

"It's not a gun."

"It's a gun."

"Believe me, it's not a gun."

"I'm pretty sure that it's a gun."

"It's not a gun."

"Yea it is."

"Trust me, it isn't."

"I don't trust me…your trying to get me to commit suicide."

"Igor…" Elizabeth spoke for the first time, "Perhaps we should continue explaining the rest of his bloodline."

Ahh yes…Naruto's bloodline. The reason that he was in the Velvet Room and absolutely nothing to do with a certain someone –Naruto looks over towards Igor– ODing on drugs.

If someone were to speak with Jiraiya the toad sage, he would be convinced that Naruto's father was Minato Namikaze. In reality Naruto's father is named Minato Arisato…an honest mistake, but it would probably lead to confusion between the toad sage and a certain aged kage.

"The second part of your bloodline directly involves your first", Igor continued, "It involves the bonds you make. With every bond that you make a strengthen…you will be able to strengthen your persona and even create new ones."

Naruto nodded, "Which I summon by killing myself."

"You wouldn't die."

"I don't know much about health…or anything else…but I'm pretty sure a bullet to the head will kill me."

"It's not a gun…"

"Yea it is…"

Elizabeth sighed, this went on till morning…and it was only 11:03 pm

--

By noon, Naruto found himself at the edge of a training field. After his less than standard graduation exam, he received the weekend off. He decided to spend the next few hours, listening to the man who may or may not be a trying to kill him. He probably wouldn't have believed the previous night event actually happened…if it weren't for the fact that he woke up with the gun in a rather…unnatural position. If he didn't believe that the man was crazy then…he definitely believed it now.

So Naruto decided to try this…making bonds theory. His mission…

"You simply need to make some friends…" He could hear Igor's voice in his head.How does he know if this ridiculous idea ACTUALLY works?

"_You'll hear a voice in your head. It'll say the phrase __**Thou shalt have our blessing when thou choosest to create a Persona of the -- Arcana.**__ The black indicating a certain arcana…named after a tarot card."_

Sounds ridiculous, but Naruto thought that it was a win-win situation. He got a second excuse to make friends and good motivation…and if it turned out that this man was bull-shitting him…he would still make friends.

He decided to scour the training fields in search of other genins like him and managed to find…two freaks wearing green jump suits. And sadly…the jumpsuits were the most normal thing about these two.

The blond sighed… 'Beggars can't be choosers.'

So the blonde walked over to the duo. He was immediately detected.

"HELLO YOUNG YOUTHFUL YOUNGESTER! A NEW GENIN I SEE. HAVE YOU COME TO CHALLENGE MY YOUTHFUL YOUNG STUDENT, THE GREEN BEAST 'LEE'?

"HAI, A NEW CHALLENGER FOR ME TO TEST MY YOUTHFUL FLAMES OF YOUTH ON. I WILL SHOW YOU THE YOUTHFUL FIRE THAT GAI-SENSEI HELPED ME LIGHT!"

"OH LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

_--five hours later--_

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"ENOUGH LEE! We must now climb the highest mountain on our hands in knees to prove our youth! Let's go!"

"YES GAI-SENSEI!"

At that, both green-beasts of Konoha took off due south…which had absolutely no mountains.

And Naruto…

Was twitching on the ground…bleeding out of his ears. He heard a high pitched sound in his head and then a voice began saying,

"**Thou shalt have our blessing when thou choosest to create a Persona of the FOOL Arcana"**

Naruto felt the urge to cry. Five hours…five hours he spent listening to those two freaks…only to make one bond… Naruto reached into his kunai pouch and pulled out the evoker. He placed it to his head and pull the trigger. His eyes glowed blue, the sound of breaking glass hit his ears, and a strange apparition began to materialize above him. He didn't give it a chance. He pulled the trigger a second time, his eyes glowed blue again, the sound of breaking glass hit his ears again, and the strange apparition dematerialized and began to re-materialized again…and he pulled the trigger a third time…and then a fourth time…a fifth time…a sixth time…and it continued on a on like this for a while.

_--in the velvet room--_

Elizabeth just blinked as she started at Naruto, through a television on the wall. She then turned towards Igor "If he keeps summoning forth his persona, he's going to run out of SP (spirit points)."

Igor just sighed, "I think running out of MP is the least of his worries. He's only on level 1 in the FOOL arcane…and he needs to reach level 10."

What kinds of challenges were next on Naruto's list?

--

_Haruno Sakura of the Lovers Arcana_

Naruto sighed as he looked at his watch. The only thing he asked was why the pink haired girl liked the Uchiha so much and she started listing off a long list of things…she started thirty minutes ago.

It was funny…any other time that he talked to her…she probably would have hit him. He just mentions Sasuke, as a basis to try and form a friendship with her, and now she won't shut up.

He got the hint from Elizabeth, who happened to be a fan of Game Guides…or whatever that was.

"And then I heard that Sasuke rescued a sick puppy from a river, while battling a group of nuke-nin!"

Turning back to Sakura, Naruto just nodded pretending to listen to the girl.

--

_Nara Shikamaru of the Hanged Man Arcana_

Naruto blinked a few times. "So we're just suppose to lay here…"

Shikamaru nodded, "Yup…"

"And do what, exactly?"

"Stare at the clouds", the boy said simply.

The blonde Jinchuuriki sighed. 'There has to be a faster way to do this.'

_--_

_Uchiha Sasuke of the Justice Arcana_

Naruto just looked at Sasuke. He was punching a training dummy that looked an awful lot like himself, Sasuke not Naruto, though the dummy had a sign that said, _"Uchiha Itachi"_ on it.

Judging from the facts, he would have to spend a total of ten events…trying to figure out why Sasuke was punching this Itachi person. Dealing with Sasuke's ego…arrogance…power trips…the five fan girls hiding in the bushes…

The blonde just turned around, "Not worth it."

--

_Haruno Sakura of the Lovers Arcana (Level 4 skit)_

Naruto wanted to stab himself. He finally formed a friendship with his crush, Sakura.

Problem?

Everything revolved around Sasuke. Hell, they were both in his bushes, watching the kid train.

Worse of all, people were starting to assume that he had become a Sasuke fan boy.

Naruto sighed… "This had better be worth it."

--

_Orochimaru of the Devil Arcana_

The snake grinned, "It's so hard to find willing test subjects for my experiments…thank you so much Naruto-kun."

The blonde gulped from his position. Clad in only his underwear, he was strapped to a medical table staring at a bunch of…large…pointy…objects. Sweating somewhat, the boy just laughed to himself, "Yea well…I got a feeling that someone wants us to be friends…" 'DAMN GAME GUIDES!' "…And well what are friends for…" he said still sweating.

The albino ninja just grinned, "Very true." He then turned around, "Too bad Jiraiya-kun couldn't see things my way. Whiny little bitch…doesn't mind when I prescribe medicine to fight off a cold…but when you try to give him the tail of a crocodile-" Orochimaru suddenly tossed his hands into to the air, "Ohhhh…now you've gone TOO far Orochimaru!"

Naruto's eyes widened, 'Ok…maybe I can live without the Devil Arcana.' He didn't think he could deal with this guy for nine more levels; he began struggling against his chains. A few moments later, after giving up, he decided to voice his main question, "So…what kind of experiment is this?", he asked as he stared back at the large…pointy…objects.

"A revolutionary experiment. I plan to give you the honor of being the first Jinchuuriki…with five asses." 'Key word being the first _Jinchuuriki'_

"AAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Orochimaru rolled his eye, "Kid is as loud as Dosu." Which would probably explain the bandages, his hunched posture, and the heavy clothing…

--

_Haruno Sakura of the Lovers Arcana (Level 10 skit)_

Finally…After months of all this shit…he was finally going to max out one of his bonds. The fruits of all his labor were finally-

"I think we should stop hanging out."

Naruto blinked… "Huh…"

"Naruto…" Sakura blushed slightly, "I think you might be IN love with Sasuke."

The blonde blinked. Ok…he was following a girl he had a crush on…and people thought he was gay, just because she was following another guy.

"For now on…" she began speaking again "…we're rivals Naruto-kun." With that, Sakura turned around and walked off…

The blonde blinked again, in his head, he saw the Lovers tarot card do a flip over. In his head he heard…

_**The lovers social link has gone into, REVERSE. You won't be able to increase this social link further until you fix your bond with Haruno Sakura.**_

Naruto blinked again.

--five minutes later--

Igor smiled as Naruto walked into the Velvet Room, "Hello Naruto-kun-AAAAHHHHH!" screamed the man as he fell backwards into and over his chair…falling on the floor.

Elizabeth blinked as she watched Naruto throw the evoker at Igor, pelting the man in his face, and turned around and walk off…muttering, "I should've stuck with **Kage Bunshin**."

* * *

**A/N: All you Persona 3 fans...that was for you. **

**I finished writing a Code Geass x-over. Those who enjoy that anime, give it a read. It'll either be out Friday or Saturday, depending on whether i can get a friend to read it.**

**Future x-over. Soul Nomad and the World eaters: What would the world be like if EVERYONE could hear the Kyuubi speaking.**


	2. Code Geass

**Disclaimor: I don't own Naruto or Code Geass**

**A/N: How many people though about doing a Code Geass crossover with Naruto.**

**M-rated for some slightly sexual themes and more language.**

* * *

It was just so weird

It was just so weird. The whole day had just been taxing on his body and mind.

Being tricked by Mizuki into stealing the forbidden scroll and then actually learning not one, but _two_ jutsu from the scroll. With the first jutsu, Kage Bunshin, he was easily able to overpower the deranged Chunin and rescue his sensei. He could barely remember why he bothered using the second jutsu, save for the fact that he wanted to test it out.

It seemed like a simple technique, despite the fact that he really had no idea what it did. **Kinjutsu: Kyousei Fuunin Kai (Great Seal Release)!** It consisted of about one hundred hand seals, which he surprisingly managed to memorize after one grueling hour of practice and releasing a humungous amount of chakra. Unfortunately, when he tried to use it, nothing happened. He anted up all that chakra, and the jutsu turned out to be a fake! Or so he thought at the time.

After Iruka gave Naruto his hitai-ate, the older man took the boy out for some ramen. This was a night he'd remember for the rest of his life; for once everything was going great. And this was just the start of Naruto's ninja career.

Naruto woke up the next morning and slowly managed to peel himself out of bed. Today was the day that he would be assigned his new team. He began to make his way to the bathroom when an intoxicating aroma caught his nose.

Ramen…

His instant ramen was ready! He quickly curved towards the kitchen, following the sweet aroma. Blissfully ignoring the simple question, who the hell is cooking the ramen?

He blinked a few times when he got to his kitchen. He slowly began analyzing the figure over and over again. The first thing he noticed was her clothing…or her lack of. She wore nothing but an undersized apron, an orange one that Iruka had bought him, and a pair of white panties. She had a shock of red hair, which reached slightly past her shoulders. Glancing over her back, he noticed a red…bird-shaped tattoo over her tailbone. As she turned around, he had to beat down a blush at the sight of some of her much larger…assets, barely covered by the undersized apron.

Seeing the boy, with her large blue eyes, she immediately smiled. "Hey there roomie!" At that point she sat down and slowly began slurping the ramen noodles.

Naruto blinked. After the initial shock was over, Naruto said the same thing that any prepubescent boy did when confront by such an attractive sight. "Umm…uh…uh…ummm…uh!"

After slurping up the noodle and swallowing, she looked back at Naruto. "Name's Kallen Kouzuki!"

--

She actually liked this world. Actually, besides her own world, she could probably say that this world was perhaps one of the best worlds.

She had been alive for kami knows how long, trying to find some stupid bastard who would be able to release her from the curse of immortality.

It all started during the black rebellion, when she was a part of Zero's Black Knights. Soon though, after the prince's betrayal, Zero died whilst dragging the knight of seven and the emperor of Brittania with him to hell. And where did that leave the United Federation of Nations and Brittania? Without a proper leader, she did the only thing she could do. She went to that 'pizza-girl' who had long since gotten back her memories, and demanded a contract. She had gained the Geass of Precognition. One of the greatest knightmare pilots in the world, with undoubtedly one of the two strongest knightmares, had gotten Precognition.

At that point, as Tamaki had so delicately put it, she had stopped being a fucking badass and became a fucking **demon**. With Guren, she was invincible. Soon the UFN became the dominant power. Unfortunately, like all things, it didn't last forever. Terrorist managed to find the leftovers of Nina's brainchild (bastards) and soon brought an end to the world. Unfortunately for her, she had already taken C.C.'s immortality. So she was practically left alone. Luckily after close to a century, and she hoped it was only that long, the remnants of humanity slowly began to rebuild itself. She tried to make a contract with the new civilization…but that eventually led up to another near-Armageddon. And that cycle repeated itself…for kami knows how long.

Eventually, after the evolution of those thrice damned pokemon, she went crazy and went on a killing spree. After a few more decades someone, whom she assumed was the precursor to these ninja, would eventually seal her into a large scroll. Someone who, for one reason or another, recorded the seals required for her release and placed them on that same scroll. She didn't exactly hate the man who sealed her…he placed her in a type of dreamless sleep the whole time. Probably the reason she managed to reclaim any semblance of her sanity.

So here she was, not knowing anything about the current world she was in, she had decided to stick with the kid whom apparently unsealed her. In other words she took a page from her _sire's_ book and decided to stick with the person who released her. She was just thankful that she didn't have to get shot in the head for him…yet…

So here she was waiting for him to come back from his meeting with his team. She preformed the contract with him earlier in the morning, after he stopped ogling her. He received the power of the king, and she received a chance to end her eternal life.

Hopefully it would go better than her last contracts. She could only pray that he didn't end up like that Ash kid, who received a contract to make all pokemon love him…or so they thought it was love at the time. In reality it made all pokemon…lust…after him, which didn't become a problem until he lost the ability to turn it off. Kallen cringed, that wasn't a pleasant memory.

Thinking about Naruto, a feeling of nostalgia suddenly overcame her.

He didn't just receive the power of a king…he received the power of _the_ king. The black king to be perfectly frank. He received the same power that Leleouch, the power of absolute command. How did she know? He just used it on some poor helpless merchant. The command? He had to take off all his clothes and dance around the village. The ninja who were watching him from a distance seemed to have given up on trying to dispel the…genjutsu, or whatever the hell that was, and were about ready to send him to the psychiatric ward. At the very least, it was entertaining to watch, not to mention that it provided her with some actual clothing.

Though her lack of apparel seemed to help Naruto and her con that old Hokage.

_--_

_Both Naruto and Kallen were standing in the Hokage's office. They had just explained the whole situation to the aged kage and were waiting for his response. Sarutobi was just staring at the red beauty before him…wearing only an apron and a pair of white panties. He then took a look over at Naruto, "So…she's…your…cousin?"_

_Naruto nodded. _

_The Hokage then looked back at Kallen, that apron seemed to be a little tight on her, and then looked back at Naruto, "Who came to live with you, from the village who's name is, __Somewhere-outside-of-Konoha__?"_

_Naruto nodded._

_Sarutobi then stared back at Kallen, he really wished he knew a few wind jutsu that creates an __**upward**__ gust of air. He then turned back to Naruto, "And you say this despite the fact that neither of you have no idea who your parents are, any of your family, and despite the fact that she didn't even know your last name?"_

_Naruto grinned nervously_

_Sarutobi nodded, "Sounds good to me, I'll fill out the paper work and send the forms she needs to sign."_

_Kallen just smiled at him as she bent over a bit and in a sing-son voice asked, "You don't mind doing the paperwork?"_

_Sarutobi just stared at the young woman who looked no older than 19. He then smiled at her, "Of course not, I love paperwork!"_

_Five minutes later, both Naruto and his cousin were gone…and Sarutobi was staring at an one-hundred-page form that immigrants were suppose to fill out whenever they wanted to come live in Konoha. One-hundred-pages…that all of which he agreed to fill out. Sarutobi dropped his head and slammed it against the desk_

--

She grinned as she thought about Naruto's Geass. Despite all the limitations, she truly believed that Leleouch's Geass was by far the strongest. Sure, her precognition was a much more powerful tool for her and it would probably serve Naruto a lot more in actual combat. However, in the long run, this would help Naruto out a lot more…especially since a ninja wasn't all about combat. She wouldn't mess up this time. She would help the boy achieve his dream. This village…Konohagakure, would be the greatest ninja village and Naruto would be their leader. She couldn't fail again, she was around the greatest mind to ever walk this earth; and now, after centuries of existence, she. Naruto would achieve his dream and she would achieve hers…

After all…she was now perhaps the greatest chess player in the world for the last few centuries.

--months later--

Naruto grinned, "Thanks for the jutsus old man", he said as he walked away from the one and only Jiraiya of the Sannin.

Jiraiya's eyes widened as he began to come to his senses and realized he had no memory of the last…he looked up at the sky, noting that it was already dark out. So he had no memory from the time that it was noon. That can't be good. Last time that happened, Tsunaded had smashed him for peeping in on her...but he probably would have remembered peeping on her a second time. The toad sage then saw the blonde turn around.

A red glow appeared in Naruto's eyes, **"Oh! And forget that you ever saw me."**

Jiraiya blinked, "Huh? Why?"

The blonde's eyes widened, before he started to berate himself, "Shit, when I turned around, I had already lost eye contact." He then turned and started to walk away, hoping Jiraiya wouldn't say anything.

The toad sage blinked, as he saw Naruto walk away…with a scroll that looked awfully like the one that he used to write down Jutsu theories. "Did he just put me under a Genjutsu?"

_--One month later--_

"A loser like you could never defeat a true Genius. That is why you will lose today, it is your fate!"

The blonde rolled his eyes at Neji…if only he knew. With everything he was _taught_ by certain high-ranking ninjas, he was sure that he could defeat Neji, no problem. Unfortunately, Kallen said that he would completely need to destroy him if he was to gain any respect, so that's what he intended to do. He'd use his Geass.

As Neji began to charge him, Naruto's eyes glowed red and, barely loud enough for Neji to hear, said, **"Let me kick your ass."**

Neji's eyes widened, but he didn't stop his charge, "Yes…Naruto."

--

Kallen smiled from her position in the Hokage booth, yes the old man insisted that she sit in the best seat in the whole arena...since she was attending her first Chunin exam. A special privilege he never extend to any of his _actual_ family members...

But she really didn't care about that. All she could think was that everything was going according to plan.

--

Jiraiya's eyes narrowed. He was in a perfect angle to read Naruto's lips, a skill that was unfortunately not to common with many ninja. The fact that a so-called dead last was slapping around a genius, one year his senior, only confirmed his suspicions.

This wasn't Genjutsu…or at least any type that he ever heard of. This was some sort of mind-control.

The only question on the man's mind was…why did it only seem to work on him once?

--

Besides the uproar that was caused when Naruto gave Neji a wedgy, the rest of the tournament went on as one would expect a Chunin Exam to turn out. That is, until Uchiah Sasuke and Sabaku no Gaara. Five minutes into the fight and everything turned to chaos…and not just inside the battlefield, inside the whole arena. The first thing that he noticed was that everyone in the arena began to fall asleep, a large Genjutsu no doubt. Several ninja, himself included, easily dispelled the Genjutsu upon themselves and began a large scale battle.

But Naruto wasn't interested in any of that. From his peripheral vision he noticed that the Kazekage had taken Kallen hostage when he failed to take the Hokage. Thinking quickly, he immediately dashed in their direction, following the three; Sarutobi, Kallen, and the Kazekage up to the roof.

A part of him was interested in the fact that Sasuke was following Gaara, but he chose to ignore that in the end.

He began running to the center of the roof, when an oto-nin tried to intercept him. Quickly, he punched the strange two-headed nin in the gut before flipping over him and continuing his dash.

"Forget that fucking idiot, put up the barrier!"

And with that comment, a purple dome covered the area where the three ninja and one knightmare pilot, were.

Naruto reached them just in time to see the Kazekage take off his hat, revealing a pale skinned man with long black hair.

"Orochimaru…"

"Who?", asked the blonde.

"One of my former students who betrayed the village a long time ago", the old man stated with more than a small amount of regret in his voice.

At that point, Naruto tuned everything out, not listening to Orochimaru's words. The Hokage probably didn't remember, but Naruto could recall the aged ninja speak of this Orochimaru before. So much regret in the old man's eyes.

A sly smile then reached Naruto's mouth as he saw Orochimaru, after tossing Kallen to the side, charge them both with a strange sword that he pulled a sword…out his mouth. Before the Hokage could do anything, Naruto himself dashed forward, eyes glowing red, **"ASK FOR FORGIVENESS AND REJOIN KONOHA!"**

--

"You know, you didn't have to come for me", stated the red head. "I _am_ immortal after all."

The blonde shrugged, "I was worried."

Kallen actually smiled a little at that, "Well I still think you're an idiot."

The blonde just shrugged once again, "All worked out for the best anyway."

At that, Kallen had to agree. After taking out half of the sound/sand army single handedly, and joining up with his ex-teammate to beat down Gaara, Orochimaru was immediately welcomed back into Konoha ranks. And Sarutobi couldn't be happier.

Everything seemed to be going according to her plans. If it kept up, she'd be able to give up her code in under two years. The moment she thought about that…someone landed on the rooftop, right behind her.

She turned around to see the man whom Orochimaru teamed up with to fight Gaara. His name was apparently Jiraiya.

He sent a strange grin in Naruto's location, which made the blonde narrow his eyes. "What do you want?"

Jiraiya just continued smiling, "Hey kid, did you know that I was the sensei of the Fourth Hokage."

At that, Naruto raised an eyebrow.

--seven years later--

It was difficult to tell what year it was…at least for her. The ninja had their own table for telling the years…but she never bothered to learn it. Though if you asked her, she'd say that it was 7 **A.T.B.J.A.A.S.U.A.O.M.H.W.W.H.D.P.M.I.F.H.T.M.B.I.H** (which stands for: **After that bastard Jiraiya arrived and screwed up all of my hard work with his damn perverted mind, I fucking hope the man burns in hell**).

Naruto woke up and immediately got out of bed. Unlike most mornings, he chose to let his…friends sleep a little longer. His very hot friends…his very hot naked friends.

If anyone asked him how he always seemed to wake up with five, it usually averaged to about five, beautiful woman…he'd just say that he was a fantastic negotiator. And that he was…he somehow managed to get Iwa and Kiri to an unconditional surrender and give up all their land and resources to Konaha. And they weren't even at war! He also became known as the first genin to EVER attain the rank of Hokage…which was quite interesting because most of the people on the council, one of the main bodies whom decided who would attain the position – the other being the Hokage- used to hate Naruto with a passion. It's like they had some weird change of heart.

Every time Kallen scolded him, he just pleaded the fifth and said, 'Don't blame me…this is all training in becoming the next Toad Sage.'

As he exited his room, he looked to the side at a conveniently nearby clock and just continued waiting. Kallen joined him soon afterwards…sporting a disgusted sneer, "I'll never understand why you like this."

Just as those words left her mouth, and puff of smoke appeared. The smoke cleared to reveal the one and only, copy-nin of Konaha. An odd music began to play in the background and Kakashi began to sway his hips and move his hands to the music.

Kallen just sighed to herself.

"We're no strangers to love

You know the rules and so do I

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of

You wouldn't get this from any other guy"

Kallen rolled her eyes again, "Kami I hated those Rick Rolled blogs!"

Naruto was just shaking his head to Kakashi's surprisingly good singing. It would be another three minutes before the Jounin finished his song.

Kakashi blinked and then looked at Naruto with hatred.

"Great job today Kakashi!" Naruto said with a foxy smile.

"FUCK…YOU…" he said and then turned around and walked off.

The blonde sighed to this reaction, "You try to compliment a guy." He then turned towards Kallen, "You seemed awefully moody today…"

"You were with another group of woman last night, weren't you?"

The blonde flashed her a grin, which caused her to kick him in the knee.

If you were to ask Kallen why she was upset, and you some how managed to get the truth out of her, she'd tell you that she was upset because it seemed that the Kyuubi's chakra was preventing Naruto from fully realizing his Geass, which in turn prevented her from transferring her code, and in turn her immortality, to Naruto.

Not knowing all the details, Jiraiya had his own theory. If you asked Jiraiya, he'd say that she was jealous and probably hadn't gotten laid in a _long_ time. If she were to hear Jiraiya say this, she'd kick him in the crotch…twice…

…and once more for good measure.

"Hokage-sama!" Naruto turned to see both Orochimaru and Jiraiya waiting for him. The two members of his council, after Sarutobi retired and he became the Hokage, he decided to fire everyone on the council. Actually to be perfectly accurate he decided to use the Geass to make them think they were penguins...yes penguins. He then made Jiraiya and Orochimaru- who seemed to be much less like a puppet and more like a loyal ninja of Konoha- into his two new and only council members.

He then grinned at Kallen, "Duty calls."

_--_

Kallen felt the urge to screech as she walked back into her room. Wrong, wrong, wrong, it all went wrong! In her mind, she was supposed to be free of her code by now. Unfortunately, she didn't take the _teachings_ of Jiraiya into her equations…and now she had practically wasted all that time.

And it didn't help that every other person that she tried to make a contract with was a complete idiot. She kinda blamed it all on Naruto. Like Lulu before him, he seemed to have the effect of screwing over anyone close to him, even though he didn't truly mean to do it in the first place.

Take Haruno Sakura for example. He had tried to make her into his girlfriend, without the use of the Geass. About two years after he first received his Geass, he finally gave up and during one of there many verbal arguments…just told her off, _"Geez, if you like Sasuke so much…why don't you just rape him", He then nudged his head over in Sasuke's direction, never losing eye contact with her, "He's right there ya know."_ Unfortunately…the idiot would accidentally activate his Geass at that precise moment. Sakura?

Would spend the rest of the week trying to fulfill the orders of Naruto's Geass and would rest until she did so, though frankly she didn't seem to put up much of a fight when Naruto gave her the command. The two fourteen year olds played a cat and mouse game for a whole seven days before the ANBU decided to take Sakura to a psychiatric ward.

Sasuke would spend another week in utter shock, whining, _"When the hell did she get that kind of strength?"_ On that last day, she almost beat the Uchiha into submission. Who knew the girl was into that?

Kakashi and Naruto?_ Naruto growled as he watched Sakura taken away, not that he actually wanted her to fulfill the Geass._

_Kakashi just held out his hand, before simply stating, "Told ya…"_

_The blonde sighed as he pulled out a large wad of money and placed it into Kakashi's hands, "I guess your right…he's gay."_

'If only that were true…' thought Kallen with a sigh. Then she probably would feel as bad when she thought about the Uchiha's current position. Already having that eye-technique, that is somewhat similar to a Geass, she assumed that he would also be a perfect candidate for a contract…so she made one with him. Unfortunately, he acquired a contract similar to C.C., the one where everyone around her loved her. Regrettably for the Uchiha, it only seemed to work on men. Even more regrettable was the fact that he happened to be around the eight _male_ members of Akatsuki at the time. All eight of which decided to abandon their plans for world domination for the one that they were…lusting after. The Uchiha hasn't been seen for the last two years

She began rubbing her chin. Who else could she try?

Hyuuga Hinata? No…last she checked, that girl was still pretending to be under Naruto's Geass so she could spend nights with him.

Nara Shikamaru? He didn't have enough time, after Naruto _persuaded_ him into becoming Maito Gai's second student.

Inuzuka Kiba? Still thought he was a dog…and Akamaru thought he was a human. Sadly, no one seemed to notice that much of a difference.

Kallen's eye twitched in annoyance, "I should've stuck it through with the damn pokemon…"

Epilogue:

Naruto: He would be known as the king of the world, having a harem of close to five hundred women.

Orochimaru: Became as perverted as Jiraiya and even started his own series of books.

Jiraiya: Would live to the age of Ninety, dieing to Viagra overdose…with four girls that combined…weren't as old as he was. His final thoughts… "God bless Naruto."

* * *

**A/N: A little over the top...but Please Review.**


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